The last time I wrote, I was thinking about saying goodbye to 2016 and hello to 2017.  Still there. It's a process. Looking backwards isn't as hard as it used to be. It has become easier to not dwell on the rough times and to instead, learn and let go.  It has become almost a joy...a celebration...to acknowledge the strength and growth that came from the rough times. It has always been a joy to celebrate good memories and accomplishments.

Looking ahead is where I have a new learning curve. This past year, and moving forward, it is less about goals and "want to do" or "should do" things and more about WHO I want to be, Who I Am. It is about being honest with myself, finally. I used to think that was selfish, and it may appear that way sometimes. From this vantage point in life, I wish I had been a little more so when I was younger.  It is when we take care of ourselves and live into our fullest potential of who we are that we can be the best us for those we love.

Without striving to meet the "should" goals as my priority, it is now more about how I want to feel and the people and experiences I want in my life.  Honestly, it is about learning to live with no regrets and living into myself so that at the end, there will be awesome stories to tell of an authentic, loving person who lived her life fully-her way, and taught others to do the same.  I believe that my actions, and my goals as such, will spring naturally from that.  I have stopped painting a specific picture of the life I want and instead I am learning to vision the essence, the feel, of my life in light of who I believe I am. And then I trust. Each step I take, each goal, each dream, either puts me in that feeling, or takes me one step closer as I peel off the layers of masks I have worn over the years.

And decorating the tree with my two youngest granddaugthers?  It was exactly what I dream of,  an awesome day filled with joy, good feelings & hugs, love and memories....the kind of life and essence I treasure.

Rough night last night with some seriously painful leg cramps.  These aren’t Charlie horses, but excruciating tightness on the outside lower leg/ankle/foot.  Usually it is just one leg, not this time, it was like trying to walk on two pieces of wood.  I was able to keep it at bay during the evening by getting up and walking around/stretching a lot, but I was afraid to go to sleep…..so some meds came into play.  I have a love/hate relationship with medications, but in this case, they were appreciated. It had been a great day doing an Open House event yesterday, but I was probably in boots too long.  Ohhh, moving on. 

Today, is all about rest, catching up on house things, “me” things and to prepare for the coming week… to ensure there is balance. It is also time for beginning the process of saying goodbye to 2016 and letting go….and saying hello to 2017 and visioning.  And, grand kids are coming later to help decorate the tree, have some hot cocoa, watch the snow fall and watch movies!  A perfect day.

Three years later, not much, and everything, is new.  However, I will not be catching up and telling the story of the last 3 plus years.  I have stopped looking backwards.  I used to think that it helped to look backwards to understand where I was in the present.  Maybe it’s age, or experience, or simply tiredness….for now, I prefer to just be in the moment and let the past be in the past.  No sense recapping three years of continued crisis, change, struggle AND wonderful life events, since I last wrote here.

Life is life and it has ups and downs, and whatever needs to unfold will in it's own time. The real story is today, with no excuses or explanations of yesterday and no promises for tomorrow. Today is both imperfect and a blessing. And, I’m just glad to be here and have time with the ones I love.

One Never Knows...

Well, I was right about it not being another 7 months before returning to my blog.  It was 11 months!

Life has a way of rearranging our plans. Geez, I think that should be the name of this blog.  Life Rearranged. It seems to be a reocurring theme in my life.   hmmmm.....

Anyway, to proceed with my tale of woe...I had done most of the background work with my almost business and was getting ready to launch my website, when my husband was laid off work. He had been with his company for exactly 30 years, to the day. We are on the high side of 50 and with retirement looming, things got a bit scary. We went into a sort of shut down mode with spending while we regrouped. I am not sure we have totally regrouped yet, but at least the initial pulling up of the bootstraps has been done. I couldn't see my way to spend any more on a new, unproven start up business. There would have been material fees and craft show fees, etc.  Fear of the unknown ruled.

Fortunately, I was offered some temporary work for the organization I 'retired' from. I have put everything on hold since then, choosing to take the known income path, rather than the unknown.  I can't even begin to relate some of the ups and downs of the last year, suffice it to say there have been many, both financial and emotional, for both of us. 

This January/February I had some decisions to make...it was time to decide about renewals on web services and things of that nature.  There is an office sort of full with project ideas and projects in process. In the early months of this experience, I didn't venture at all into my office. I didn't want to, couldn't bring myself to, go in there. When I finally did, it was rather eerie.  Everything was as I had left it, mid-project, months earlier.   I have thought long and hard, and decided 'what the heck.' What's one more year and a couple hundred dollars (she said sarcastically). It buys me a little more time to see if I can follow an old dream, even a little bit.   So, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, or the next day, or the next.

I only know that there is a little hope. And sometimes, that is really all we need. 

Stay Tuned! 

  Coyote Laughing is coming soon.

 Just as in nature, there is always something going on behind the scenes. This has been true for this adventure, as well.  After leaving my job, my time schedule has taken many and varied paths, leaving computer and blogging time scarce. I have written a great deal though and someday, I might do a quick highlighted tour of the journey over the last 7 months.

True, there have been some times of loooonnng dormancy, but there have also been times of frenzied growth.  I am still here and getting closer to realizing the ideas that began back in 2010 when I began this blog. My new website, www.coyotelaughing.com will be up and running soon and I am gearing up for the spring/summer art fair/craft show season. 

I do know that it will not be another 7 months until I am back here at Coffee Time.  See you soon.

I Did It-My Own Cafepress store

Well, after much frustration, it is done.  I invite you to visit my work in progress,  my new online shop for photography gifts and stationary at www.cafepress.com/CoyoteLaughing. I am still learning and have made some mistakes, which I am sure is a normal thing to do.  But, it has begun.  My first series of items is called, Summer Pleasures.  I still have a few more things to add so that I can offer some mix and match items. 

It sure took a long time to get rolling, but now I think I have the hang of it.  I made the error of creating many of my first items in the 'create and buy' section. This was a mistake. When you open the store, you may not be able to transfer items that have already been created.  Fortunately, I did not open a Basic shop (you can't transfer from 'create and buy' to a Basic shop) and I was able to eventually transfer the items I already made. It took a little help from the help center at Cafepress. I must say they were prompt and quite helpful.  Thank goodness!

In addition to adding items without text to my Summer Pleasures Collection, I have a few other collections in the works; Sunsets, Butterflies, Flowers-Wild and Garden Variety, and eventually some travel sets.  And somewhere in there, I intend to get my new blog up and running. Realistically, that might not happen until early August and I have some time off coming as I transition out of full time work to self-employed. But it WILL happen.

With only two weeks left at my full time job, I am right on schedule.  Actually, I sort of wish I had begun this part of the process earlier, but what can I say. Life happens!

So, please checkout my online store and let me know what you think.

Progress Continues

Just a quick post tonight.  I have made it through most spring and summer photos and have a back up drive and I am developing a sort of system in keeping up with this.  I would still like to figure out my online back up system, too. 

I have a few designs on CafePress, but did not get my store opened up yet.  It takes time to figure out which photos to use and what, if any, affects I want to use...or if any text.  I will definately post when the store gets open. 

As I continue work with the pictures, I may take another try at entering a couple photos into the National Wildlife Federation annual photo contest.  I did it last year, too.  Even if nothing comes of it, it is good practice. 

What a great day today has been. Began the morning with work on photos, did some yard work and gardening, picked some fresh spinach and lettuce from my garden for our summer salad, and now I am sitting outside enjoying a beautiful summer night and writing. 

So that's it. Short and sweet.  Happy summer!

WHOOHOOOO!

So, I figure I should write once in awhile to give an update.  I actually did it. I gave notice at my current job and will dive into the world of the self-employed mid-July.  I have been taking a few days off here and there and I can already see some looming issues.  Like, how hard it is to choose between working in my garden and sitting at my desk.  I need to find a way to move my desk outside. At least I can look at my garden and feel inspired.

I have been working on getting my photos organized and trying to choose which to keep in a work file and which to hang on to, well, just because.  I quickly realized that doing six years of photos is a daunting task.  So, after I went through and eliminated some duplicates and did a little reorganizing of years 2005 through the present, I began pulling those I wanted to work with for stationary, etc.  Even that was a big undertaking. I was trying to do too much all at once.  No surprise there!  I decided to just focus on summer photos that I would like to work with and get a few more things onto Cafe Press and Zazzle and open a couple online stores.  I have recently finally gotten around to creating a couple items as test runs and was please how they turned out.  My focus for now; flowers/plants, birds/butterflies, animals, landscapes.  Considering that this list includes most of my photos aside, from family, it is still a big task.  Add to that, labeling and tagging everything....and well you get the idea. 

Still, I am so excited. As the time comes closer to my end date at work, I feel as though I can finally let my creativity flow.  I have kept it stopped up like a cork in a bottle because it was too frustrating to get started a little and then have to shelf things while I worked.

So, there you have it. Not there yet, but getting closer.  Major steps have been taken and progress is underway.  Stay tuned.

Decision Made

The last time I wrote, I was trying to make a huge decision about whether to quite my full time job now, or try to wait another year.  My decision has been made.  I plan to be leaving my full time job by no later than mid-summer.  There are still a few details to work out as I figure out my exit timeline with my current employer. 
I feel both intense relief, excitement,... and fear.

I have no doubt it is the right decision for me, personally.  I am fearful about the financial aspect of this decision. 

I have to keep reminding myself I have thoroughly thought it through and have a sound plan. I also remind myself that there are valid reasons of physical and family need that have led me to this choice and that my "dream" business will hopefully provide a chance to have an income and attend to those needs.

So that's it for now. Spring is a very busy time of year at work and I am not sure how much time I will have to write or pursue my dream. Still, I know that time is coming and I am quietly laying a foundation for myself. 

And the picture today is my garden cup.  I spent a wonderful couple hours in my garden today with my husband and daughter.  It has been two years since I have been able to do much gardening and I thoroughly enjoyed it, even with some physical limitations and twinges from my ankle.  I am looking forward to spending time in my garden writing this summer, too.   Happy May Day.

So Many Decisions...So Many Viewpoints

There are a bazillion people out there on the web, on the shelves in bookstores, and even in person who can tell you the "right way" to do just about anything. And, for them, they may indeed be right. But what about for you, for me? Are they still right?That would be impossible since many of the viewpoints are contrary to each other. They can't all be right, or can they?

You might get lucky and find someone who "speaks" to you and you follow their advice step by step to success and happiness. If so, I think you are one of the lucky ones. More often than not, the ensuing result from seeking answers, may just lead to being overwhelmed with information and getting stuck. You do little or nothing for fear of doing it "wrong." Or, you may get to the point where you have heard enough.  Enough is enough.  It is time to filter through all the advice, then do whatever you think is right for you at the time with the best information you have been able to gather.

Will you always make the right decision?  Probably not. But, hopefully it is better than doing nothing and watching your dreams fade away.  You might even surprise yourself and make a great decision.  However, you will never know if don't do something.

Here are just a few of the questions I have asked myself that have led me to research, and research overload.

-What type of independent business could I do that would be viable?
-Should I do many little businesses or try to lump what I want to do under one umbrella? What would be the unifying mission/theme?
-How would I advertise?  web, blog, newspaper, Facebook.....?
-Blogger, Wordpress, GoDaddy.....?
-One blog or mulitple, webpage?
-What categories?
-Do I have enough useful content to blog?
-What design should I use?
-Should I take graphic design classes?   html classes? 
-How important is design choice?
-Should I do affiliates? How many? What type?
-Should I begin slowly and add on, or wait until I have it all figured out?
-What do I want my pages of whatever I do, to look like?....feel like?
-Should I just up and quite my regular job, go part time somewhere, tough it out as I create this business....?
-How much money should I put aside?
-Am I nuts doing this now?  Should I wait another year or two?

Frankly, I am exhausted just writing that list!  Of course, I found a variety of answers. Some echoed other sources, some were totally opposite from the others. Most were equally well thought out, made good points, and had their own merit. My task then, has been to figure out which answers make sense for me and my circumstances. I believe I have figured out most of it. I have one large hurdle left.

I wish I had a crystal ball because this last hurdle is a doozy.  My major remaining hurdle is deciding whether to quit my full time job now or trying to stick with it for another year. My reasons for needing to leave full time employment are many and go far beyond my wanting to create a new business. In fact, this business was my answer to the need for leaving my full time job and still needing an income. There are many options in between full time and nothing and I am considering them all.  In the meantime, I have limited foward momentum because I don't want to set something up and then not have the time to follow through.

The truth in all of this is that I have discovered that most of the answers I have found from an overwhelming number of people and resources are right...for somebody. In the end, it all boils down to one thing....what is right for me.  Stay tuned.

Behind the Scenes

It's a winter wonderland out there! About 20 inches of snow fell last week, and we are getting a little more today.
It's a good thing I love the snow, not to mention having an extra day or so off from my 9-5.

Wordpress, Blogger, or ?
I have actually been quite busy trying to educate myself on different blog/web hosting sites. My level of techno-knowledge is close to non-existent so it is a slow process.  Blogger or Wordpress seem to be the top choices for my next blog.  I have to get past the thinking that it is a "forever" choice. 


How Many Blogs and/or Websites?
I have settled on having one or two blogs vs. having many.   I will keep this blog because it is a record of my blogging and business journey and I would like to continue this journal.  I have discovered from other things, that sometimes the more I learn, the less I know. So this blog will provide a good way for me to look back.  And hopefully, it might provide some fodder for others as they begin their blogging and/or entry into the entreprenural world.


Then, I want to create a blog of "place."  I really can't verbalize it just yet, which is the other reason I can't begin it just yet.  I can see the end result, and I am working on the theme, theme statement, and an opening post. I want categories and subcategories on this blog so I am pretty sure it will be a hosted Wordpress blog. I have a plan for the categories laid out and it seems to flow nicely.


If there is to be another blog (oh, I guess that makes three), then it will be strictly business and have references to the blog of "place."  This blog needs some type of service for people to place orders and see what services I offer beyond the stationary. I still need to determine if I will continue to offer outdoor programs to scout groups, etc. and to what extent I want to spend my time doing that. I do think that rather than a blog, this might end up being a regular website and I am looking at GoDaddy for that, and to host the Wordpress blog.


If anybody out there is reading my blog and has thoughts about blogs, websites, hosting services, etc. that might help me decide what to do, I am all ears.

Avoidance

Ok, so I haven't written for a couple of weeks. There was nothing I really wanted to share, or admit to, so I avoided writing.

I hate to admit when my great ideas and plans are not working out so well. I had one wonderful week of plans flowing smoothly, then ....well, I'll spare you the whining. Suffice it to say that I have been derailed, partly by my work schedule and partly by myself and my own response to my work schedule, and other looming issues.

Maybe this is just the reality right now and I have to figure out and narrow down my priorities and focus on them and put blinders on to other creative endeavors, at least for now.  Or, maybe this is just a rough patch and I should keep trying to stick to the plan. It is a good plan and I really want it to work.

Ok, then. I am not ready to give up on the plan. Follow it, modify it, mess it up, be frustrated with it, get back to it, ...but don't give up on it.

Dulicmer Days and Coyote Time

Welcome to my new year and my new challenge. Technically it is a 28 day challenge, yet I believe this will be a yearlong process. My goal is simple enough, to find a rhythym to my life that fits who I am at this point in my life. Easy right?!  Hardly!
My Dilema
My days are flexible at best. My 9-5 type job covers weekdays, weekends, and weeknights. There are family things I want to be available for, not to mention people I want to spend time with. Then there are things I want to do just because I want to do them, like continue learning to play the dulcimer and do more photography classes. For the business, there is blogging, card making, storefront creating, and so on.  And there is more, but you get the idea. So, what to do?
Lists & Schedules
I have written lists of what I would like to be able to get to and various schedule formats of how I might do all these things. I started with what I knew like work schedules and chiropractic appointments and such. Then I sort of worked the rest in. Writing these lists was as an exercise in possibilities. I am not a schedule follower per se, I am a visual person so seeing it all out there in writing helps me see how things could be worked out a little differently.
Beautiful Music, Getting There
I have been working out this rhythm since the beginning of the year and it is beginning to gel. Eventually all the pieces of my life will play like a beautifully orchestrated piece of music. Right? Well, at least until the next change and then there will be some tweaking of rhythm again.
The First Chorus
Here is what I have found in the first weeks of 2011.
I hope to incorporate these findings and changes into my life, not just for 28 days.
*No Input Time: a 15-30 minute transition relaxation time after getting home from work and doing the care and feeding of dogs and family. There is to be no computer, texting, magazines, etc.  No input.
*Coyote Time: I have named my stationary business Coyote Laughing Stationary so this is what I call time to work on my stationary/blogging/writing business. This is limited to 1 to 1 1/2 hours a night.
*What is The One Thing?: Each night when I am done working on business, I use a dry erase pen to write on a lovely glass picture frame, the one thing I need to do the next day that will get me closest to my goal.
*Family Time: Spend at least one hour a night with family, beyond dinnertime, or at least in an area where I am available.
*Fun Endings:Go to bed earlier so that I can read something just for the fun and enjoyment of reading it and not something for business, or even personal growth.
*Dulcimer Time: Practice dulcimer at least once a week. Dulcimer Time has come to represent any creative release time so it may be something other than, or in addition to playing the dulcimer.
*TV Night: I am in the bad habit of watching waaayyy to much TV, so I am cutting back to one TV night during the week. It is truly amazing how much more time becomes available for other things when the TV gets turned off.

That's it so far. Wish me luck. I'll check back in a week and let you know how it's going and if I have come up with a second chorus yet for Duclimer Days and Coyote Time.

Lessons From the 21 Day Challenge

Well, I'm back!  Life has been pretty good and pretty busy the last few weeks. I have been processing some of the things I learned during my 21 Day Challenge. I promised to share what I learned with you. So, here are some highlights, in sort of shorthand version.  Interestingly, most of what I learned was in the first week of the challenge.

To recap, the challenge was primarily to get me into the habit of doing something every day for my blog and business I am working on starting. In that respect, my challenge was very successful, but not as I imagined it would be. Early in the challenge I was given a large order for stationary from a friend. Much of my challenge was spent on that, which was great! However, I still have a lot to learn about blogging and haven't read or done my online "class" as much as would have liked.

• Day 1 was all about commitment and sticking to my challenge. I had to be fully present and give it my full attention. And, planning for the next day quickly became essential.
• Day 2   I realized that having a plan and a specific time set aside to be in my home office each day took away any anxiety of wondering what I would do and when I was going to get to the blog or stationary work. I had a plan. Come home, take care of the dogs, have my own dinner, relax a little, then blog and do stationary. Done! That was it.
• Day 4 was a biggie. As I began the work on the order, it became very clear that I had been taking two steps forward and one step back since trying to blog and start a business. I was wasting time trying to catch up or relearn my software and was quite frustrated. So my lessons at this time were:
• #1 Keep current. Use the tools of the trade each day, practice, craft, create...even if there is no order. Here is that word again...."commitment!"
• #2  Focus. Use a 3x5 card system to keep ideas or some sort of system for future blogging/stationary ideas to prevent overload or forgetting good ideas.
• #3 Prioritize. Decide the night before what will get me where I need to be. Give it one-two hours a night and then STOP! Sadly, I sometimes found myself working very long hours and getting exhausted with a full time job to get to the next morning. It is important for me to set some boundaries and then work hard within those boundaries of time and space.
• Day 5 As I learned more about my software possibilities, I learned to track the details of an order I am creating such as what settings, filters, etc. were used. I also learned to keep a hard copy of each thing for my file.
• Day 6 was a lesson in flexibility when I had computer issues and rather than give up, chose to work on other things instead.
• Day 7 was all about multitasking. There are good kinds and there are not so good kinds of multitasking. An efficient example is when I am using the paper cutter while other things are printing. Blogging while watching TV is not so good. Insufficient focus is given to either thing and neither is enjoyable and both just consume time. Here it is again, commitment....be fully present to the task at hand.

Days 8-21 were mostly about putting these lessons into practice and about the details of using my software and keeping records of what I was doing. I think the first week set the stage for the rest of the challenge. 

Even though I haven't been blogging since my last post, I have been working. Well, and to be honest, enjoying time off with my family, too.  My next challenge has already begun and I will tell you about it next time. I hope it will go as well as the first one.

Day 21! I Made It!

Tonight is the last night of my 21 Day Challenge to do something every day for my blog and hoped for new photo stationary business. Some days I did more than others, but each day I did something toward my challenge- and I learned a lot- about myself, my software, my goals, and my at home working habits.

I have now cleaned up my office after getting my first stationary order in the mail and have spent time making notes about what I learned during my challenge. There is still a little more to process so I'll share my notes soon. One thing I can tell you is I need to continue to set a schedule of work and to honor it.

 Although some days I probably could have done a little more for my challenge, I am very happy with the progress I have made and my challenge met it's goal of developing a working habit at home. Next, is to fine tune that habit to better fit with the rest of my life.

Over the next five days I will be taking a break from blogging while I spend time with family. I am on vacation from both the 9-5 and from blog and business. So until then, ...stay tuned.

Day 17 & 18

My time on Day 17 was spent taking a few photos for marketing and trying to figure out what to charge for the stationary I just finished. There is SO much involved with trying to account for supplies, timing, equipment, etc.  AND, we have the flu in our house so the mom in me was doing mom things. So much for Day 17.

Day 18:  I just got back from shipping out my very first stationary order! YEA! 
The rest of today will be spent cleaning up the house from the fall out of me being absorbed with getting the order done.  AND  of course, with doing something each day for my 21 Day Challenge.  I sort of plan to take a computer break for the next day or two though, so if my check-ins are short, or absent, I am here to tell you that I am working on my challenge. I need to read, write down some post-order notes, and generally regroup.

I feel really good about this challenge right now.

Day 16- is over...finally.

Does anybody else have a love/hate relationship

with technology? 

Tonight has been one of those nights. I thought I was going to be done with my stationary order on time last night. That didn't happen....and I don't even remember why.

And tonight all I had to do was one set of 20 notecards; 5 each of 4 photo designs. But nooooooooooooooo,

my computer graphics program had to disappear. Yes, that's right, GONE!

It took a lot of searching around through computer files, a couple visits to Serif.com for a patch and a few times of restarting my computer and TWO HOURS later, I was back in business again.  UGH!

I love what computers can do, when they work. I hate the time they eat up and the frustration when they don't work. I must say, I was afraid I was going to have to take it in for repairs or that all of my past two weeks work was also lost. So overall, I am pleased it is all back safe and sound. And I am really pleased that I figured it out myself!  :0)               I'd say that is progress.

And yes, I am now officially finished with my order! YEA! The only thing left to do is take a few photos for my files and marketing, tie it up in pretty bows and box it up for shipping to be taken on Saturday morning. 

Now, to put a different focus on

days 17-21 of my challenge.

I hope you enjoyed the colorful post tonight. I had to do something to get out of this computer techno "why does it have to happen now" funk.

Day 14 & 15

Phew! Last night I was crusing along making notecards and didn't post.  I really had fun with the artistic editing of the photos I was working with.  I am very pleased with how things turned out and once I "regroup" I will post a few photos of the completed sets.

And although the artistic creating took a little longer than the simple touches I was making on the notepads, the whole process was much easier! Well, once I got the layout and print figured out correctly.  There is a lot less cutting with the notecards than notepads. 

I am happy, very happy, to say that I will complete my order on schedule by the end of this evening. I have 1 1/2 sets of notecards to finish up-and then....Done!  The only thing that will be left is a few finishing touches of few ribbons to tie the sets together and get them in the mail.  YEA!

This has been an awesome learning experience in time management, efficient work flow, and use of my software and I hope to take a little time tomorrow night and recap those lessons a litte for myself. When I have given that a proper thought, I'll share what I learned.  Then, it's back to focusing on blogs and other things for the final days of my challenge.  Although, I have been looking into different website design things....it hasn't been all stationary making over the last couple weeks.

For now, it's off to the 9-5.

Day 13

There are stacks of stationery piling up in my office. Someone might think I am in business. This is also my first ever mobile post. I turned off my laptop before I posted. I might even try to download my calender. Oops. There is no picture icon, oh well.
Major success as i finally figured out note cards on this software. Well, long day today and this post is less than creative....I'm off to sleep! (posting by testing is awkward!)

Day 12

It seems sort of silly to write that I am not going to write tonight.  This is just a check in post for my 21 Day Challenge to do something everyday for blog and hoped for new business. 

I have spent a lot of time focusing on getting a stationary order ready.  Tonight is no different.  There is also some reading in Problogger in my future tonight.

Then, to be honest- it is time for a little popcorn, something refreshing to go with it, and a little TV.

Back to the 9-5 tomorrow and

tonight I get a little time off.

Cheers!