Wednesday, February 27, 2013

One Never Knows...

Well, I was right about it not being another 7 months before returning to my blog.  It was 11 months!

Life has a way of rearranging our plans. Geez, I think that should be the name of this blog.  Life Rearranged. It seems to be a reocurring theme in my life.   hmmmm.....

Anyway, to proceed with my tale of woe...I had done most of the background work with my almost business and was getting ready to launch my website, when my husband was laid off work. He had been with his company for exactly 30 years, to the day. We are on the high side of 50 and with retirement looming, things got a bit scary. We went into a sort of shut down mode with spending while we regrouped. I am not sure we have totally regrouped yet, but at least the initial pulling up of the bootstraps has been done. I couldn't see my way to spend any more on a new, unproven start up business. There would have been material fees and craft show fees, etc.  Fear of the unknown ruled.

Fortunately, I was offered some temporary work for the organization I 'retired' from. I have put everything on hold since then, choosing to take the known income path, rather than the unknown.  I can't even begin to relate some of the ups and downs of the last year, suffice it to say there have been many, both financial and emotional, for both of us. 

This January/February I had some decisions to was time to decide about renewals on web services and things of that nature.  There is an office sort of full with project ideas and projects in process. In the early months of this experience, I didn't venture at all into my office. I didn't want to, couldn't bring myself to, go in there. When I finally did, it was rather eerie.  Everything was as I had left it, mid-project, months earlier.   I have thought long and hard, and decided 'what the heck.' What's one more year and a couple hundred dollars (she said sarcastically). It buys me a little more time to see if I can follow an old dream, even a little bit.   So, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, or the next day, or the next.

I only know that there is a little hope. And sometimes, that is really all we need.